


Talk To Me

by Jayde_Amali



Series: Chinchilla Gospels [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 13:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10514304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayde_Amali/pseuds/Jayde_Amali
Summary: I update sooner on tumblr. Come follow me to get earlier updates of the series. http://purgatory-destiel.tumblr.com/





	

**Author's Note:**

> I update sooner on tumblr. Come follow me to get earlier updates of the series. http://purgatory-destiel.tumblr.com/

With each passing day, Lucifer found his grace being locked down a little more. He was becoming more and more human. And he absolutely hated it. He was actually getting hungry from time to time, which irritated him, even though he actually liked food in general. He found that he actually had to shower to keep from smelling bad, which just flat out pissed him off. He was spending more and more time in the library, just reading whatever he happened to grab from the shelves to distract himself from the depression he could feel hammering at him.

Sam was worried about Lucifer. He'd noticed the archangel was eating more and taking regular showers. He hadn't seen his wings in a week now and it had been several days since they'd had sex. He was trying to avoid the topic, but it had gotten to the point that even Dean was commenting about Lucifer's being more miserable than normal. In fact, Dean had pointed out yesterday that Lucifer hadn't pulled a prank on him in a few days. That was worrying enough.

Lucifer didn't look up from his book when he heard footsteps. He knew who they belonged to. He sighed and turned the page. “What do you want, Dean?”

Dean sat down across from Lucifer and just looked at him for a moment. “What's going on?”

Lucifer looked up at that. He furrowed his brows as he met Dean's gaze. “What do you mean?”

Dean leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “You haven't bothered me for a week now. Sam says you're eating more regularly, which isn't normal for you. You never liked human stuff, and now you're starting to do it. So? What's going on?”

Lucifer sighed again and looked back at his book. “Why can't I just be trying to understand you humans by doing what you do?”

Dean shook his head. “Not likely.”

Lucifer stood up at that. “Well, I am. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be left alone to read in peace.” He started to walk away.

Dean watched him for a moment, then stood up as well. “That's not it and you know it. Whatever Crowley did is making you human, isn't it?”

Lucifer stopped mid-stride and turned to face Dean. “You don't know the first thing about what Crowley did to me.” He slowly walked around the table, radiating calm, which he could tell was unnerving Dean. He slowly approached the human. “He bound my grace to this vessel. He made it so I can never escape. The warding he used is written into each molecule. The longer I am trapped, the more...” He broke off and shook his head, now in Dean's personal space. “Leave. Me. Alone.” Each word was spoken with nothing behind it. Just an empty tone. He turned again and left the library.

Dean stood there and just stared after the angel. Once he was sure Lucifer was out of earshot, he spoke softly to himself. “Yep. He's gone human.” He went to find Sam.

Sam was in the kitchen, and on the phone. “Yeah. It's like he's human now.” He paused, listening to the other person. He looked up and saw Dean come in. “No. It's been gradual.” Another pause. “Okay. Keep looking? Thanks, Cas.” He hung up. “He still hasn't found anything.”

Dean nodded and grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one to Sam. “Well, your boyfriend has definitely gone human.” He shuddered a little. “He's trying to act like he's just doing this stuff to see what humanity is really like, but this has him shaken, Sam. He's scared. He's really scared.”

Sam nodded and took the beer. “I know he is.” He opened the beer and took a swig. “I just wish I could help him. He doesn't even want to talk about it.”

Dean sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I know. I just tried. He told me to leave him alone and left the library.” He looked at Sam. “I could have Gabriel try.”

Sam shook his head. “Honestly, I think the only person who could really talk to him about being human is Cas.” He pulled out his phone again and looked at it. “I've asked him, but he doesn't want to. He said he didn't want to get involved any more than he already is.”

Dean frowned and set his beer down. “Seriously?” He shook his head. “Maybe we should try and find Chuck?”

Sam sat down at the kitchen table and just stared at his beer bottle. “I don't know if we can.” He looked up at Dean. “You know Lucifer told me once that if Chuck ever comes back around here, he's gonna leave. He doesn't want anything to do with Chuck anymore.”

Dean blinked and raised both brows. “Why? I mean, I get the daddy issues, but I thought they made good?”

Sam sighed and shook his head. “Dean, Chuck left him again when he really needed his help. He was seriously hurt when he was yanked out of Cas and he damned near died. Lucifer told me that Chuck admitted he loved him too much, but when he had a chance to show him that and help him, he just abandoned him again.” He looked back at his beer. “I'm worried that he thinks we are going to abandon him too. He's trying to be strong right now, but he doesn't get that I'm really there for him and that it's okay for him to be weak. I've heard him crying in the shower. I've heard him crying at night when he thinks I'm asleep. I've heard him crying in the observatory. I've heard him whispering prayers, Dean. He's been praying for help.” He sighed again. “And I want to be there for him, but he won't let me.”

Dean stayed quiet while Sam was talking. He was a little uncomfortable with how things were going. He finished off his beer and tossed the bottle in the trash. “I'm gonna go talk to him again.” He left before Sam could stop him.

Lucifer had gone to the chinchilla's room and was sitting there with Sam curled up in his arms. He was keeping an eye on the nest that the chinchilla Dean had created. Every so often he could see a baby chinchilla stick its head out and look at him. Dean was curled up in the nest.

Dean, the human, walked into the chinchilla's room and closed the door behind him. “Okay, look, I get that you don't want to deal with this, but you have to.”

Lucifer sighed but kept his attention on the chinchilla. “Go away, Dean.”

Dean shook his head. “No. Not until you agree to talk to one of us about what's going on.”

Lucifer did look at Dean then. “None of you can even hope to understand what I'm going through?”

Dean nodded slowly. “You're right. We can't.” He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. “But Cas can.” He held it out to Lucifer. “Call him. Talk to him.”

Lucifer was still for a long moment before he finally reached out and took the phone. It was already set to call Cas. He touched the button to dial.

Dean left the room, but stayed outside the door. He had closed it to allow Lucifer to talk in private. He overheard some of what was being said. “It's not fair.” and “He said he loved me, so why won't he help me?” and “I can't handle this, Castiel. I don't know how to do this.” He heard the archangel break down and start crying. He finally walked away.

An hour later, Lucifer came into the kitchen. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he'd been crying the whole time. He handed Dean back his phone silently and turned to leave. He paused just before leaving the kitchen and looked back at Dean. “Thank you.” The words were barely whispered, but clearly heard by both Sam and Dean.

Dean just nodded. “Don't mention it. Ever.” He saw the small smile that Lucifer gave him before the archangel left the kitchen. He turned to look at Sam. “I just hope that helped.”

Sam nodded and headed toward the door. “I'll go see.” He found Lucifer in their bedroom, curled up on the bed. He sat down next to him and just rubbed his back. “You okay?”

Lucifer started to nod, but then shook his head. “No, Sam. I'm not.” He curled up tighter. “I can't bring my wings out anymore.” The words were barely whispered, but he knew Sam could hear them.

Sam just continued rubbing Lucifer's back. “It's okay.” He swallowed hard. “It will be okay, Lucifer.” He knew there was little conviction in his tone.

Lucifer started shaking slightly. He couldn't stop the tears. “I don't want to be human, Sam. I'm not human.” He turned so he was on his back and looked up at Sam.

Sam saw the look of abject misery and leaned down, pulling Lucifer into his arms. He just hugged the angel tight. “We will figure this out. I promise you that. One way or another, I will make sure you get free.”

Lucifer clung to Sam. He let the human comfort him for now. He wanted to believe Sam. He really wanted to believe him. He wasn't sure at all how they could beat this. He didn't even know how the cage had been built. The only one that did know had abandoned him twice now.

Sam let Lucifer cry, adjusting their positions so he was lying down with his angel. He gave him soft kisses to his forehead, just rubbing his back and running fingers through the soft blond hair. After a while, Sam noticed Lucifer getting quieter. He looked down and saw the angel had cried himself to sleep. He stayed where he was for a bit longer before finally getting up, pulling the blankets over the sleeping angel and leaving the room, turning the lights out as he went.

Dean was in the kitchen still, though now he was prepping for dinner. He looked up as Sam came in. “How is he?”

Sam walked over and snagged a piece of bell pepper from the cutting board before Dean could stop him. “Not good.” He looked over at the table where Gabriel was sitting. “Hey, Gabe.”

Gabriel looked over at Sam. He was working on a crossword. “Hey, Sam. I take it he finally broke?” He sighed. “It's been a while coming. I tried talking to him earlier this week. He refused to admit that anything was wrong.”

Sam moved to the table and sat across from Gabriel, leaving Dean to cook. “He still doesn't want to talk about it, but he's not hiding how miserable he is now. Dean said he talked to Cas earlier and he finally told me he's not okay.” He sighed. “I just don't know how to help him.”

Gabriel was silent for a long moment before commenting. “Dad could, but he's MIA again.” He looked back down at his crossword. “I've been looking and sending up flares, but nothing.”

Sam barely nodded. “I've heard Lucifer praying for him.” He admitted softly.

Gabriel's eyes widened and he hissed in a soft breath. “And Dad hasn't responded?” He frowned. “Lucifer was his favorite and we all knew it. If he's not even listening to Luci, I don't know what to say.”

Sam frowned. He looked up as Dean set a glass of water on the table for him. He nodded his thanks and took a sip. “Is it possible Chuck can't hear him?” He sighed at Gabriel's head shake. “Then why isn't he answering?”

Gabriel shrugged. “I wish I knew. Maybe he wants Luci to be trapped like this for a bit? It's no secret that Luci still doesn't like the youngest child, so to speak. Maybe he wants him to experience it for a bit?”

Sam stared at the glass of water for a moment, watching the beads of moisture form on the outside of the glass. He finally looked at Gabriel. “Then he really sucks at being a parent.”

Gabriel snorted out a laugh. “You're telling me?” He shook his head. “Dad never was a great parent. He probably thinks he's the best parent in the universe. If you ask any of us, he's always been the worst. No decent parent would ever set his kids all against just one of them like he did with Luci. Every single one of us were set against him, you know. All because Dad said he had to be stopped, then later killed. He told me Dad apologized to him and told him he loved him still. Loved him too much really. So, for Dad to ignore him now, it's really gotta hurt.” He looked toward the doorway that led out to the hallway where the bedrooms were. “I don't think I'd be able to handle it.” He looked back at Sam. “Some advice. Just make sure he knows you love him and will not leave him. Ever.”

Sam nodded and took a drink of his water. “I know. I will. I do love him and I am never going to toss him aside or leave him. As far as I'm concerned, he's a Winchester now.” He caught Dean watching them out of the corner of his eye.

Dean finally shook himself away from what they were saying in order to finish cooking. He set out four plates, then pulled a tray of seasoned french fries from the oven. He assembled four philly cheesesteak sandwiches and set a good portion of fries on each plate. He took one to Gabriel, then looked at Sam. “Figured you might want to take yours and Lucifer's.” He nodded when Sam also nodded. He handed Sam two of the plates, pointing out which one was Lucifer's plate.

Sam took the plates back to the bedroom. He set them down on the desk, then gently woke Lucifer up. Once the angel was awake and somewhat coherent, he handed him the plate Dean had said was his.

Lucifer just about moaned when he saw what was on it. He'd recently discovered that he loved philly cheesesteaks the way Dean made them. The bell peppers were still a little crunchy, which was perfect for him. The onions were perfectly tender. The meat was seasoned just right, and there was extra cheese. He dove in, ignoring Sam's chuckle.

Sam took his plate and joined Lucifer on the bed. He turned on the TV and turned Netflix on. He started up the series they had been watching, Samurai Gourmet. Sam didn't seem to get it, but Lucifer had been watching anything that was dealing with food recently. He indulged the angel and let him control Netflix. They ate together while watching the show.

Lucifer nibbled on the fries after he finished the sandwich. He looked toward the door as Dean came in. He had two more sandwiches on a plate and a couple bottles of beer.

Dean smirked as Lucifer spotted the sandwiches and perked up. “Thought you might want another.” He handed the plate to Lucifer, then the beers to Sam. He took Sam's empty plate with him as he left.

Sam opened the beers, handing one to Lucifer. He took a drink of his and set the bottle down on the bedside table. He waited until Lucifer shuffled the plates a bit, then took an empty plate. He chuckled as Lucifer began chowing down on a second sandwich. “Go easy on that.” He was smiling though.

Lucifer nodded between bites. “It's just good.” He finished off the second sandwich. “You want this one?” He offered the third to Sam, who shook his head. He shrugged and began to eat the third one too. He took his time with this one, just savoring the textures and tastes.

Sam watched Lucifer eat the third sandwich and couldn't help but keep smiling. Once the angel was done eating, he took the plate and set it aside. “You realize you're going to have to start working out to burn off calories, right?”

Lucifer sighed and settled in against Sam. “Well, there are fun ways of burning calories.” He smiled as Sam gently gripped his chin and led him into a soft kiss. He pulled back from the kiss and rested his head against Sam's shoulder. “Right now, though, I'm tired and want to just rest.”

Sam nodded and kissed Lucifer's forehead. “Sure.” He cuddled Lucifer as they continued to watch TV. Before the episode was over, Lucifer was asleep again. He adjusted their positions gently, leaving Lucifer alone only to turn off the lights. He returned to bed and held the angel. This was a slight improvement over the past few days. Only last night, Lucifer had just curled up and gone to sleep, without even a good night kiss. Tonight, he was snuggling up to Sam and he'd given him a kiss. He turned the TV off, then settled in for the rest of the night. He kissed Lucifer's forehead gently, then whispered softly against his ear. “I love you, Lucifer.” He smiled slightly and whispered again. “Lucifer Winchester.” His smile grew as he heard a soft pleased whimper from the angel. He pulled back, but Lucifer was still asleep. Sam settled the blankets over them and shortly fell asleep.

 

 


End file.
